Tuesday, November 24, 2009

The Palin-ites are coming! The Palin-ites are coming! Run for your lives!!!!

I'm sorry family. Sometimes ... I mean, they just make it so EASY!!!

The Palinites/Teabaggers/Brainwashed masses...

I'm getting the heezy out of America on the first thing smokin. At the very least, I'm not going anywhere near Columbus, OH. You can't pay me enough. I can't be in the presence of that much blithe and willful ignorance. It would kill me.

Check this vid (WARNING: Not for people who feel physical pain whenever they hear pure unadulterated stupidity. I'm not going to be responsible for putting people in the hospital. And you can't sue me... ain't got nothin.)

I was going to do a play by play of the sheer awesomeness of the stupidity in this vidja, but several things happened that prevented this:

1. I developed a severe migraine from constantly banging my head against my desk every time someone said something utterly ridiculous. Someone should have told me this game isn't as much fun if you're not drinking.

2. I got a hand cramp from taking notes on the amount of dumb shit to comment on. I filled two pages of my legal pad before the cramp set in though.

3. I didn't get all the way through the vid. My consciousness couldn't take it.

So what I am going to do is give you some 'lowlights' and the general feel I got from this vid.

GENERAL FEEL: Teabaggers done drank the Kool-Aid with cyanide, yet they refuse to just die already. Every single one of them was spouting rhetoric they have heard, yet could not provide policies, directives, hell... a cogent argument about... well... anything. I wonder if any of them know what a 'cogent argument' is....


There were so many... but the most cringe-worthy for me happened between 4:11 and 5:24. In these 73 seconds:

1. BHO is Naturalizing Illegal Aliens- um what? Since when? Why have I not heard about this?! I think what they meant is BHO is naturalizing non white people who are eligible under the Constitution and its amendments to become U.S. citizens. Newsflash Johnny Rocket-- they probably know more about America than YOU do. They had to take a test. You were just born into it, you luck bastard you. The panic surrounding immigrants in this country is ASTOUNDING. Could it be because... you know what? I'm not gonna speculate. I'ma just call em like I see em-- xenophobia/ racism/ ethnocentrism anyone?

2. Not enough 'white votes'- a spin off of the "Naturalization of those Got Darn Illegals Who Aren't Pure White God-Fearing Folk Like Us" idea. Palin won't get enough votes to become President because the white population is dwindling faster than my brain cells did while watching this vidja. Yeah.....

3. The president is not a citizen! Enough already with this one! His birth records have been subpoenaed, examined, copied and vetted more thoroughly than Palin was when she was named as McCain's running mate. Y'all mad, ain't ya? Mad that a negro hooligan is in the white house. Because there couldn't possibly be a natural U.S. Born person of any other race or ethnicity with
The Stuff to handle the reins of your precious America? AMIRITE?

3. There needs to be "profiling"- I'mma spend some time on this because I feel like people want to ignore this GiNORMOUS WHITE ELEPHANT IN THE ROOM. Let me say it in plain English. Racism isn't dead. It never died. It was in sleep mode. Oh sure, there were pockets of crazies like the KKK and Neo-Nazis that we could write off as just that... crazy. Because they were so extreme it was laughable. Even these "regular" folk laughed at them because they were total nutjobs. But then we get a Black president and all of a sudden, we hear ordinary American folks saying things like "We need profiling! All this political correctness has to go! She sticks up for American (read: white) people! American's first, everyone else after us!"
Pssst.... Hey!! Palinites/Teabaggers? Your bigotry is showing. You might wanna pull your skirts down/pants up. Just thought we (the others) would let you know. Stay classy though.

4. "The state she governed was right across the street from Russia. She had boundary issues she had to deal with." Ya' know... cuz those crazy Russians were just LOOKING to cross the 'street' (do you think he could have meant the Bering Strait) and just take over AMERICA through Alaska. Cuz you know, Alaska is contiguous with..... Canada. And we all know Canada is the 52nd state right behind Puerto Rico. (iCan't... the STUPID... it BURNS.)

5. The Alaskan governor (which she no longer is) gets top level security. That's right... eff the secret service. The Alaska Governor gets the Super Duper Secret Service. Extra special protection. The President ain't even CLOSE to being important enough to warrant this top level security detail. This security is so tight, it just sh!ts all over the Secret Service. Compared to this "top level security" the Secret Service are like a bunch of mall security guards (no offense to my mall security guard followers). Mmmm hmmm... o_________O <- extra-long side eye

It took me 2 hours to make it through this eight minute vid. Because my tolerance for stupid wouldn't allow me to subject myself to it all at once.

I'll let you watch it and see what other gems I skipped over (on purpose). There are tons.

But the last line is telling "I think you're going to see crowds like this wherever she goes."

If this is the case, I'm either going to have to start firebombing, or get the h*ll out of here.

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