Tuesday, November 24, 2009

Too fat to graduate? Really? Lincoln U, YOU FAIL.

For those of you who have been to college, you know the plethora of stupid requirements that schools have for you to graduate. For me, it was some stupid requirement that we pass a "swim test"... swimming 3 laps in a pool. If you couldn't do it, then you had to take a semester of swimming. The reason for this dumb requirement harkens back to World War II and the fact that many of the graduates from Cornell were more than likely going to be required to serve in the Navy as officers, and thus must be able to swim.

It was stupid... but it applied to everyone. More of a nuisance than anything really.

However, Liconln University near my hometown of Philadelphia, PA has taken stupid requirements to the next ridiculous level. Apparently, if you are a student with a BMI over 30, you cannot graduate unless you take a physical education class. Period. Now, this doesn't apply to EVERY student... just the fatties.

Check out this vid:

Wow,Lincoln.... for real? YOU FAIL. You wanna know why? Besides being blatant discrimination and setting yourself up for a lawsuit or 50, your logic is faulty.

1. BMI has been criticized as a useless measure for assessing the health of individuals. BMI is calculated by taking your weight in kilograms and dividing it by the square of your height in cm... or something like that. The problem with BMI is that it doesn't take into account lean muscle mass, which everyone knows, weighs more than fat. Thus, atheletes, body builders and people who are just more 'muscle-ey' (like myself) are categoriezed as overweight/obese/morbidly obese... even though they are potentially more fit than someone with a 'normal' BMI.

::aside:: I really do not look like I weigh. I weight train 5 days a week and played soccer for 9 years... I can bench press my husband. Once. With great effort. I may burst a blood vessel in my eye trying... But I can do it. And he's not a small dude.

It also fails to take into account metabolic factors such as blood pressure, gluose tolerance and resting heart rate... all of which are much more highly correlated to a person's individual health than their weight.

Its a population measure... and a failure at that as well.

2. The professor states the policy is in response to a health disparity problem. I call bullshiggidy. Shenanigans. Foolywang. Here's why. Lincoln U, for those who don't know, is a Historically Black University. It follows that most of the students there are going to be Black. There are several studies that have come out suggesting that Black people in general have higher BMIs than other races/ethnicities regardless of fitness level or even clothing size, because IN GENERAL they have more muscle mass. For example a black woman and a white woman could both conceviably wear a size 8. However, due to actual body composition, the BMI of the black woman is going to be higher. So you are essentially using a flawed metric to address a 'false' disparity. Yeah... miss me with that. Also, you are discriminating against a group of people who already experience discrimination.

For real... fat people know they are fat. Stop making them feel bad about it. And stop standing in the way of them graduating.

3. The professor also said that they are trying to help students to be able to succed in their careers and futures by requiring them to take this class. As much as I abhor Fox News and their minions, this reporter hit the nail on the head: They've effectivly cemented the falsehood that fatties are lazy, stupid and can't possibly hold down a job or be successful.

Hmmmm... this smacks of a similar falsehood perpetuated about a group that, because of their physical characteristics, couldn't possibly make it through the rigors of higher education. Hmmm... what was that group again? Oh yeah. Black People.

What in the actual fuck, Lincoln?

4. Many colleges have physical education requirements... for the entire student body. My school made us take two semesters of physical education, regardless of body type. So Lincoln, why just the fatties? Lack of resources? Seriously? If you didn't have enough physical eduation teachers to institute this policy then why did you do it? Seems kind of ass backwards to me. Besides, there is no requirement for students who are 'underweight' to attend classes on eating disorders... but the fatties have to work up a sweat. Lady Cameroon o_O @ y'all.

For these four reasons, in my humble opine, Lincoln U can SAT ALL THE WAY DOWN and take a nice long sip of SHUT YOUR ENTIRE ASSES UP. I agree with the student body and munch on this chicken wing in solidarity with them.

The Palin-ites are coming! The Palin-ites are coming! Run for your lives!!!!

I'm sorry family. Sometimes ... I mean, they just make it so EASY!!!

The Palinites/Teabaggers/Brainwashed masses...

I'm getting the heezy out of America on the first thing smokin. At the very least, I'm not going anywhere near Columbus, OH. You can't pay me enough. I can't be in the presence of that much blithe and willful ignorance. It would kill me.

Check this vid (WARNING: Not for people who feel physical pain whenever they hear pure unadulterated stupidity. I'm not going to be responsible for putting people in the hospital. And you can't sue me... ain't got nothin.)

I was going to do a play by play of the sheer awesomeness of the stupidity in this vidja, but several things happened that prevented this:

1. I developed a severe migraine from constantly banging my head against my desk every time someone said something utterly ridiculous. Someone should have told me this game isn't as much fun if you're not drinking.

2. I got a hand cramp from taking notes on the amount of dumb shit to comment on. I filled two pages of my legal pad before the cramp set in though.

3. I didn't get all the way through the vid. My consciousness couldn't take it.

So what I am going to do is give you some 'lowlights' and the general feel I got from this vid.

GENERAL FEEL: Teabaggers done drank the Kool-Aid with cyanide, yet they refuse to just die already. Every single one of them was spouting rhetoric they have heard, yet could not provide policies, directives, hell... a cogent argument about... well... anything. I wonder if any of them know what a 'cogent argument' is....


There were so many... but the most cringe-worthy for me happened between 4:11 and 5:24. In these 73 seconds:

1. BHO is Naturalizing Illegal Aliens- um what? Since when? Why have I not heard about this?! I think what they meant is BHO is naturalizing non white people who are eligible under the Constitution and its amendments to become U.S. citizens. Newsflash Johnny Rocket-- they probably know more about America than YOU do. They had to take a test. You were just born into it, you luck bastard you. The panic surrounding immigrants in this country is ASTOUNDING. Could it be because... you know what? I'm not gonna speculate. I'ma just call em like I see em-- xenophobia/ racism/ ethnocentrism anyone?

2. Not enough 'white votes'- a spin off of the "Naturalization of those Got Darn Illegals Who Aren't Pure White God-Fearing Folk Like Us" idea. Palin won't get enough votes to become President because the white population is dwindling faster than my brain cells did while watching this vidja. Yeah.....

3. The president is not a citizen! Enough already with this one! His birth records have been subpoenaed, examined, copied and vetted more thoroughly than Palin was when she was named as McCain's running mate. Y'all mad, ain't ya? Mad that a negro hooligan is in the white house. Because there couldn't possibly be a natural U.S. Born person of any other race or ethnicity with
The Stuff to handle the reins of your precious America? AMIRITE?

3. There needs to be "profiling"- I'mma spend some time on this because I feel like people want to ignore this GiNORMOUS WHITE ELEPHANT IN THE ROOM. Let me say it in plain English. Racism isn't dead. It never died. It was in sleep mode. Oh sure, there were pockets of crazies like the KKK and Neo-Nazis that we could write off as just that... crazy. Because they were so extreme it was laughable. Even these "regular" folk laughed at them because they were total nutjobs. But then we get a Black president and all of a sudden, we hear ordinary American folks saying things like "We need profiling! All this political correctness has to go! She sticks up for American (read: white) people! American's first, everyone else after us!"
Pssst.... Hey!! Palinites/Teabaggers? Your bigotry is showing. You might wanna pull your skirts down/pants up. Just thought we (the others) would let you know. Stay classy though.

4. "The state she governed was right across the street from Russia. She had boundary issues she had to deal with." Ya' know... cuz those crazy Russians were just LOOKING to cross the 'street' (do you think he could have meant the Bering Strait) and just take over AMERICA through Alaska. Cuz you know, Alaska is contiguous with..... Canada. And we all know Canada is the 52nd state right behind Puerto Rico. (iCan't... the STUPID... it BURNS.)

5. The Alaskan governor (which she no longer is) gets top level security. That's right... eff the secret service. The Alaska Governor gets the Super Duper Secret Service. Extra special protection. The President ain't even CLOSE to being important enough to warrant this top level security detail. This security is so tight, it just sh!ts all over the Secret Service. Compared to this "top level security" the Secret Service are like a bunch of mall security guards (no offense to my mall security guard followers). Mmmm hmmm... o_________O <- extra-long side eye

It took me 2 hours to make it through this eight minute vid. Because my tolerance for stupid wouldn't allow me to subject myself to it all at once.

I'll let you watch it and see what other gems I skipped over (on purpose). There are tons.

But the last line is telling "I think you're going to see crowds like this wherever she goes."

If this is the case, I'm either going to have to start firebombing, or get the h*ll out of here.

Monday, November 23, 2009

Why I'm not sure I want to see The Blind Side

I love a heart warming and uplifting film as much as the next girl... but I don't know if I want to see this movie. I might, just for the purpose of being fair... and because its a football movie, and I'm with a man who lives and breathes football, I'll be roped into going.
But the basic premise of this film disturbs me. Check the trailer:

This smacks of a recurring theme in similar movies:

  • Losing Isaiah
  • Dangerous Minds
  • Hardball
  • Wildcats
  • Radio

Downtrodden black kid(s)-- at best ignored by their communities and families, at worst abused by them-- are saved when some white person feels the tug on the heartstrings and decides to help. Thus, their life is drastically changed for the better and all is again right with the world.

I love my white folks. I really do. But COME ON. This is getting so incredibly old. Hollywood is basically perpetuating the idea that Black Folks are so messed up, they can't take care of their own. It takes someone from the outside to blaze a trail in and work tirelessly and thanklessly to save the little black children.

Enough already.

Before I get head of myself, Precious, a movie that I recommended people go see, has a similar, yet more insidious pattern. Every positive person in that film was very fair skinned in contrast to the victimizers and the victim, who were all very dark skinned. I think that is more a failure of the casting director (since anyone who read Push by Sapphire knows that Ms. Rain was dark skinned with locs-- a far cry from Paula Patton), than a failure of the material. I also believe that Precioius' father was a lighter skinned black man in the book.

But honestly, I'm sick of the "Great White Hope" theme in movies. Yes, it happens, but there are times when its the other way around. See the Secret Life of Bees, or The Legend of Bagger Vance, or Akeelah and the Bee... three highly under-rated (in my humble opine) movies that show how Black folk can uplift others and themselves.

Here is Complex.com's take on this:

Tell me why...

... people are dropping off their teens to go see Precious because they think since Mo'nique is in it, its going to be a funny family film.

Jeebs be some engaged parenting and film research for them

... the Senate healthcare bill that will probably pass within an inch of its pathetic life will STILL fail to address the 40 million uninsured people in this country. At best, it will expand coverage to 10-15 million... at their own expense. At worst, it will raise our taxes and nothing else.

Jeebs be some common f*cking sense. Healthcare reform is needed put pssst... CONGRESS.... YOU'RE DOING IT WRONG. Check out Canada, France, Germany... hell the rest of the Western industrial world and take notes on how to do it right.

... Janet is slaying hoes effortlessly at 43... FULLY CLOTHED.

Gaga, Beyonce, Rihanna and others... check out how to really DO THE DAMN THING.

... people are riding the MJ bandwagon like they were really stanning for him.

Y'all ain't want nothing to do with him when his appearance got too 'weird' and he was falsely accused and acquitted of those child molestation charges. Pssssst... your fake is showing. Tuck it back up under your skirt.

... iCan't listen to the radio anymore. I get embarassed for MYSELF when I hear some of the "music" that is out these days. Yet the kiddos are being subjected to it 24/7 and being told its "hot sh*t".

Music industry.... YOU FAIL.

.... Cartoon Network barely shows what I would call quality animated programming now adays. I believe they officially jumped the shark with Fosters Home for Imaginary Friends, and it just got progressively worse. What happened to Mr. 3000? Billy and Mandy? That cute little bug girl show?

CN, you almost FAIL, but I appreciate Adult Swim.

... the Philadelphia Eagles are stinkin up the spot like they are a team with no talent. We are flop sweating talented players (when they aren't hurt) but our offense AND defense can't seem to get their rhythm together... and its week 11.

I blame Andy Reid and his patented version of FAILING at play-calling, talent management, and field ferocity. An unflappable leader is admirable. A leader bereft of a pulse is... *sigh*

Can you tell I'm just in the mood to rant today? Please excuse me.

Friday, November 13, 2009

I'm Back... with a post about "Precious" weighty issues

Hey Fam!!
I know its been a minute. Life has been crazy for the past couple of months... I won't go into details... just know I'm still here and I'm still standing.

So.... I came to talk about the film "Precious". I'm going to attempt to keep this uncharacteristically short.

Go see it.

This isn't just some blind admonition for you to see a film I think is great... mainly because I haven't seen it yet either (its date night with the hubby and he suggested we go. I lurve him!)

I have read the book, however. I read it almost 4 years ago, and it stripped me bare to the bones then. I couldn't put it down, even though there were so many moments that I wanted to.

If director Lee Daniels honored the literary integrity of this work, this film will be a

The other reason I want people to go see it is because of the film's star, Ms. Gabourey Sidibe. This young woman played Precious so convincingly, people thought this was based on her life (though nothing could be further from the truth... girlfriend was in school for her PsychD before she landed the role of Precious. TAKE THAT!) Moreover, the vitriol that seems to be pouring forth about the young lady's physical appearance is another reason I want people to go see this movie.

In case you didn't know... Gabourey does not fit the 'Hollywood Ideal' of physical appearance.
She's dark skinned. She's not a size 3. And neither of these things seem to bother her one bit. But it sure as hell is bothering a whole lotta people.

Now, I expect foolish comments from internet trolls and ignorant MFers of every stripe... but was is bothering the bajiggers out of me is the derision she is getting from her own...
the so called Black Educated Elite Aristocracy. You know.... a whole group of people who pride themselves on their love for Blackness and the ascension of Black people to a higher plane. Yeah... I've heard and read them say things like:

"The main character's appearance is apalling"
"She can't possibly be happy or well adjusted considering her weight"
"Her career won't get very far and if it does, she will be typecast as the fat funny friend"
"Casting her in the lead role of a major film is celebrating the obesity epidemic in America"
"Her health is in danger- she needs help."
"Gag!" <-- I lie not, someone really wrote this

It seems like everyone EXCEPT Sidbide herself has an issue with her weight. Well, that last statement is not exactly true. They have a problem with the fact that she is starring in a film that is getting Oscar buzz and she has the unmitigated gall to be intelligent, confident and unapologetic about any aspect of herself.

See, because she is FAT, she is supposed to be depressed, unhappy and desperately trying to lose weight.

Miss me with that bullshit. PLEASE!

This is part of the panic that has set in about the fact that there are people who aren't thin... and aren't trying to be thin, who are happy, healthy and enjoying life. It just doesn't jive with folk. Fat people are supposed to be ashamed and hiding themselves from our sight. The are supposed to be the heavy breathing, sweaty, smelly nearly immobile beasts that barely resemble other members of "polite society". They are supposed to be looking to thinness as the solution to their every problem. Looking for love-- lose weight. Need a job--lose weight. Want to have friends-- lose weight. Want to be a better person-- lose weight?

Seems to me people need to lose their funky attitudes. And go see this film. Ha!

To Ms. Sibide I say, Go'head with your bad self girl. Do your thing and forget your detractors. I myself am DYING to see what else you have cooked up for your career.

(aherm.... so much for keeping this short. D'ah well.)