Friday, July 23, 2010

You work out? Yeah, right! or Why this faux concern for "FATTIES" really grinds my gears

You see them legs in that profile pic? I wasn't born with those. Those are a product of a ton of hard work.

Those legs belong to a girl who wears greater than a size 12 and up until about 4 years ago, wore greater than a size 20.

I AM one of those chicks who works out exceptionally hard (hell, I've graduated from p90x TWICE), does her best to eat as healthy as possible and still wears a 16. NO LIE. I run 3-5 miles a day. I can out-push up /out pull-up my husband (and most men at my gym) . And I've lapped many a skinny girl on the track.

I do all the "right" things, but don’t look it. At least.. I don't look it to people who have a mental heuristic of a healthy person also being a thin person.

I don’t do it for looks. I'm not trying to get skinny. The skinny anesthetic doesn't work for me. I know because when I was sick a few months back and had abdominal surgery, I lost a ton of weight from not consuming a single thing other than lukewarm green tea. People thought I had cancer. No, really, people were scared I was going to die. My hair was falling out, my skin was ashen and my eyes were sunken. But I was thin(ner)! o_O

No, I don't do it solely for looks. I do it because my father has the trifecta (hypertension, diabetes and high cholesterol– and he’s THIN) and I don’t want that to be me. But my numbers are great and my doctor (blessedly) continues to compassionately encourage my healthy living. Looking better in my clothes, buying smaller sizes is the byproduct and serendipitous benefit of my efforts. The icing on the cake, if you will.

But I have an admission to make. This seemingly confident girl is exceptionally fragile. I read an article on the FreshXpress (which I refuse to link cuz that shit was MEAN and STUPID) that caused me to question my commitment to my lifestyle. It actually had me a little messed up in the head for a while. I was downing myself because, for a MOMENT I questioned whether or not I was doing enough. I even almost cancelled a trip to Las Vegas with my dearest college buddies because I thought I was going to be the biggest girl there. I was scared to hang out with girls who knew me and loved me when I was near or at my largest. My homegirl had to give me a reality check (and I love her for it) cuz I was slowly going toward the deep end.

That alone proves just how fragile a woman’s– hell a PERSON’S psyche can be. How certain things people say or do can be triggers and tipping points that can send them off the edge into unhealthy thinking and behavior. You never know a person’s history or where they are on their journey. Reminding yourself of this is important before you go judging folk or screaming “INTERVENTION!” based on how a person looks.

I’ve always been a big girl- even as a baby (9lbs 2 oz,23 inches long)- just like my mama and her sisters, so being super slender clearly is not in my genetic make up. But the day I realized I was about to buy a pair of size 24 jeans was an eyebrow raiser for me. When I went to my doc because my feet were constantly swelling and she told me my blood pressure was in the pre-hypertensive range?! Oh that shook me into reality so fast. I realized that I wasn't healthy. I didn't realize it because someone shamed me into it. I didn't do it so that people would stop talking about me. I did it because I saw the road I was going down and I decided that was not going to be my future.

I joined a gym with my then boyfriend (now husband). We work out together daily. We shop healthy together. We take care of ourselves, for ourselves and each other, because we want to be healthy active parents and partners to each other.

I’m 4 years into my new lifestyle and love it. My goal is fitness, strength and health for life– not a specific dress size.

Note: If you anonymously throw shade in the comments, I will verbally eviscerate your ass. If you throw shade and stand behind it, I'll still eviscerate you, but you may gain a modicum of respect. Hmmm... come to think of it, no, you won't.

Friday, July 16, 2010

AT&T and me or: We got relationship issues...

Soooo... first of all, hey!
I know, I know I been triflin as hell not posting for 2 months. I'm sorry! Life is insane right now!!

Especially since I just got a bill for $315 from ATT Wireless. Yep, you read correctly. Three. Hundred. And. Fifteen. Dollars.

Admittedly, I went all the way over my anytime mintues... buy like double. But come ON. You just gon' hand me a big ass bill with NO warning? That's like dumping me and then churchscootin' over my broken heart.

So I had to write AT&T a letter. We gotta work this out, else I'm OUT this relationship.

Dear AT&T,

I’ve been with you since 2002! Through all your ups and downs. Your identity issues. When you were Cingular then ATT then Cingurlar then ATT. I been through ALL of it with you. Hell, I’ve been with you longer than I’ve been with my husband!

Can we work something out? Come on, you know you love my sweet ass.

Hey… HEY! Okay see, what you AIN'T finna do is holler at ME like you ain't got no damn sense! Don’t make me walk out the door on you. I seent Verizon checkin out my ass…AND they got the Droid?! And the BB Storm. Shew, I may have to go over there and see what’s up, if you gon' just be bitchy like this.

Ok, settle with all that neck rollin!! Oh you think that $165 cancellation fee scares me? Honey, that’s 1/2 the bill!!! Hell, its barely over my regular bill! I ain’t skeered. Test me…

Are you crying? Oh honey, I’m sorry. Come here. Look, I really don’t want to leave you. I mean, yes, our relationship has had its difficult moments. But I’m committed to this. Are you? Come on, lets work something out. I know we can.

Let’s make it work. For the children. For US.

LOL, I'm a FOOL. I think I'm going to send it to them though. At the very least, they'll laugh at my dumb ass. And maybe while they're laughing, they'll cut me a break.

Thursday, May 13, 2010

Arizona- definitely don't want to live there, but do I even want to visit now?

So. My other married/involved gf's and I are starting a new tradition- girl trips. Trips where we leave the fellas at home and enjoy some much needed time together. Our first one this year is to Las Vegas, but we've already started planning our second. I had suggested a sweet little spa I had found on the outskirts of Phoenix. Everyone warmed to the idea- until we realized that we didn't want to go to Arizona.

In case you've been living under a rock, Arizona has passed a controversial immigration law that basically mandates racial profiling. If you get stopped by a cop and they have 'reason to believe' (I.e. You look Mexican) u are here illegally, you must produce documentation or face arrest.
Aside:: I have new love for the Governator. At. Emory's commencement he quipped that he was going to give a commencement speech at U of Arizona, but he was afraid he would get arrested. iDied::

Now, this isn't the first time Arizona has shown its 'bigoted ass'. They were also the state that did not want to make Martin Luther King Jr.'s birthday a state holiday and didn't get it done until the late 80's (after much debate and loss of conference/travel revenues). Moreover, they were the site where Japanese Americans were held in internment camps during WWII and schools designed to assimilate Native American children and get them to abandon their heritage were established.
In addition, their governor, Jan Brewer, just passed a law limiting ethnic studies classes (African American, Mexican American and Native American studies) an action condemned by the U.N. Human Rights Commission.

Hmmm... After researching all this, Mississippi is looking more welcoming than Arizona. Maybe I can find a lovley plantation style vacation spot for me and my girlfriends