Okay... I have to apologize for being MIA (and my appearances will continue to be sporadic till round about mid-June) but its been rough on the plantation. Much tings a gwan in the world of Tuberculosis this time of year.
But I had to stop through with this little gem o foolishness... a roast of EPIC PROPORTIONS of picture of a member of a certain Greek organization at an event. Argh!
Me and my ePosse had a ball with this one. The offender's indentity has been blocked out to protect... well... EVERYONE.
**Begin Roast**
BBMo: Warning.... retinal assault in 5....4...3....2...1.....
PBG: I hate EVERYTHING!!!
Thanks for the daymares, BBMo!!
8th Wonder: I know him. Its worse in real life, and he tries to hug me at hot summer picnics looking just like that. FML.
PBG: you have my sympathies. I would be tryin' to throw the nasty potato salad that nobody will admit to making on his puzzling ass and make my escape! His body hair follicles look segregated.
Luvvie: My inner eye is JUST developed cataract. Damn. My 3rd eye just went blind for this. What did I do to deserve this morning visual ass whooping? I, Luvvie, hereby declare BlackBerry Molasses, a faux-friend. If you loved me, you wouldnt have sent that.
P.S.
Why do his man tits look like coconuts w/ pube hair? I mean, he couldn't get an s-curl kit and work it out? He selfish. And my condolences to you, 8th. If he tried to hug me, I'd prolly fall to the floor and writhe around, like scarlet did when she tumbled off the table.
BBMo: OMG 8th, you KNOW him?? I am SOOOOOO SORRY. I didn't mean to make you remember horrors. Really. I am SORRY!!!! **wall slide**
8th Wonder: Yes girl, we're real cool with the Ques in this area, so I see that shirtless fool all the time. Yall think its bad when he's standing still, imagine how it gets when he's strolling and hopping.
Oh god. I just threw up in my mouth a lil bit.
PBG: Aif Wondra...I can't even think of a suitable punishment for you for giving me that imagery on this day that the Lord has made.
ZeeBaby: You gonna try and KILL me knowing the recession is just waiting for me to fall down? I don't even know what to say! Mine eyes! Mine active imagination! MY PHOTOGRAPHIC MEMORY.
8th Wonder: bounce bounce
BBMo: **winces and clutches stomach** I think my stomach just decided to quit me, effective IMMEDIATELY.
If that wasn't enough, me and PBG continued on an extended roast as an aside....
****PBG and BBMo's Aside*******
PBG: Mmmhmm my mind's eye lost it's ability to blink after that
BBMo: sorry... but i warned y'all of the visual assault. you know the f*ckery i perpetuate
PBG: honestly, iCackled
BBMo: that picture was JARRING like, it made me stop speaking in mid sentence made me stop thinking in mid thought
PBG: made me stop breathing in mid breath!
BBMo: just made me stop arrested all higher level brain function and lower level as well... dang it, that picture nearly took my LIFE that's why I sent it! if you heard I was dead, i wanted y'all to know who killed me
PBG: evidence that's right, leave a trail for CSI
BBMo: exactly. i wasn't just inadvertently perpetuating jackassery.... i was making sure he got what was coming to him!! an s-curl chest treatment, and a gym membership.
PBG: he needs a flamin hot body wax and powerful prayer
BBMo: I like em big.....but his tiddays can NOT rival mine in size JUST NO
PBG: Dude got me beat
BBMo: He looks like he's AT LEAST a C-Cup... da hell?
PBG: he'd need a strap extender tho
BBMo: you ain't neva lied!! I haven't seen a 64 C even in specialty bra shops
PBG: nope, not ever
BBMo: them hairy jimsens in a bra??? *shudders* nah, he need a sport camisole with an underwire so I don't see cleavage, because I'd throw up. my mind's eye would throw up. my future children would throw up
PBG: my ancestors would call fuckery
BBMo: and Aif KNOWS him?!?!?! I am sad for her lifespace he tries to hug her SECURITY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
PBG: I'd beat his ass w/a badmitton racket if he ran up on me @ a picnic
BBMo: OMG if I saw him coming I would seriously take off in the other direction.... while calling 911
PBG: him is scary @ me
BBMo: soooooooooooooo scary @ me just all outta order... outta pocket...he got me out of thin air
PBG: that just needs to be covered up. at all times in bed, in the park, in the shower
BBMo: I heard he's a Philly bruh... if I SEEEEES him, Imma run up on him with a XXXXL black t-shirt and just throw it over his head and keep running!! and I'mma slide him a coupon for wal-mart... so he can keep his wardrobe fully stocked for the LAWD as my witness, that picture shall NEVER happen AGAIN
We some ignant asses.... ain't we?
Catch y'all on the flip!!
Love,
The Molasses One.
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