So for those of you who haven't heard, you're favorite Rebel Intellectual spent her 29th Born Day at the Emergency Room. Diagnosis: Strep Throat. Yep... F my life....
Dear Mother Nature (and your cacophony of infectious streptococci bacteria),
You emotional hatin-azz, moody azz breezy!! Thanks so much for the bogus birfday gift. Strep throat!! Its what I always wanted.... in a parallel universe where torture is the joie de vivre. I would cuss yo azz out for hatin on the RI and making her stay in bed but, your bogus gift did have some upsides:
1. I got to by babied my my dear sweet mother. Ain't nothing like the mom brand of TLC when you're sick. Sure, Significant Other brand may provide more of a rush, but when SO can barely take care of himself, Mom knows all the tricks and treats to make being sick more palatable. I've said it before and I'll say it again.. I have THE BEST MOM EVER!
2. Sympathy upped the gift factor. I got money in the cards this year. You know, the ones that normally just come with a hearty handshake and a hug.
3. My lovely man gave me the most GORGEOUS roses I have ever seen. I mean, granted, he would have given me flowers anyway, but these are just AMAZING. Have you ever seen real lavender roses? This pic doesn't even do them justice, they are that beautiful. And they have opened up since then. Just glorious.
4. I lost 12 lbs from not being able to get anything down my gullet other than green tea with honey, my meds and vitamins. Call it a crash diet. I call it the jumpstart my Summer Hot Body Plan needed.
5. I'm at work, but no one really expects me to be productive. They're just happy I'm not dead. Yay for paid "goof-da-hell-off" time!!
6. Because I was sick on my celebration day, all my parties have been postponed until I feel better and can actually EAT my cake. Which means, I get extra time to be spoiled some more!!! And the weather will be deciedely nicer as well. HOLLA!!
7. I realized how many people truly care about me. People were calling and texting to make sure I was getting better, they were praying for me, talking about me at church functions and what not. Sending me encouraging e mails, texts and FB messages. But none of y'all will get me to eat!! I'm loving the fact my 'skinny' jeans are not 'skinny' jeans anymore... time to go shoppin!!
So see Madre Natura.... you tried to bring me down. But I'm a truly blessed one. You can knock me down, but you can't take me out!
But I'mma still call a spade a spade.... YOU HATIN' AZZ BREEZY!!! I hope El Nino sucks on your nipples so hard they callous over. There! Take that!