Friday, July 16, 2010

AT&T and me or: We got relationship issues...

Soooo... first of all, hey!
I know, I know I been triflin as hell not posting for 2 months. I'm sorry! Life is insane right now!!

Especially since I just got a bill for $315 from ATT Wireless. Yep, you read correctly. Three. Hundred. And. Fifteen. Dollars.

Admittedly, I went all the way over my anytime mintues... buy like double. But come ON. You just gon' hand me a big ass bill with NO warning? That's like dumping me and then churchscootin' over my broken heart.

So I had to write AT&T a letter. We gotta work this out, else I'm OUT this relationship.

Dear AT&T,

I’ve been with you since 2002! Through all your ups and downs. Your identity issues. When you were Cingular then ATT then Cingurlar then ATT. I been through ALL of it with you. Hell, I’ve been with you longer than I’ve been with my husband!

Can we work something out? Come on, you know you love my sweet ass.


Hey… HEY! Okay see, what you AIN'T finna do is holler at ME like you ain't got no damn sense! Don’t make me walk out the door on you. I seent Verizon checkin out my ass…AND they got the Droid?! And the BB Storm. Shew, I may have to go over there and see what’s up, if you gon' just be bitchy like this.


Ok, settle with all that neck rollin!! Oh you think that $165 cancellation fee scares me? Honey, that’s 1/2 the bill!!! Hell, its barely over my regular bill! I ain’t skeered. Test me…


Are you crying? Oh honey, I’m sorry. Come here. Look, I really don’t want to leave you. I mean, yes, our relationship has had its difficult moments. But I’m committed to this. Are you? Come on, lets work something out. I know we can.

Let’s make it work. For the children. For US.


LOL, I'm a FOOL. I think I'm going to send it to them though. At the very least, they'll laugh at my dumb ass. And maybe while they're laughing, they'll cut me a break.

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